“If You’re So Smart…

…why aren’t you rich?”

That’s what they used to say to me back in the Midwest, in response to my being an insufferable know-it-all.  I am a more sufferable know-it-all these days, so I am rarely asked this question, which is disappointing since I now have many good answers for it.

I Hated It, and I’m Right

What do you mean you don’t think this is great acting? I’m not moving, not blinking and I’m speaking brilliant sarcasm as fast as humanly possible.