Dear Congressman,
Unfortunately for me, I have to keep writing these emails because talks have once again stalled in Washington. However, there have been a few uplifting stories from the shutdown. Some businesses in the D.C. area are giving out discounted or free items to furloughed workers. Unfortunately for you, you’ll be asked to pay double the retail price. The Ku Klux Klan had scheduled a rally on Oct. 5th at Gettysburg National Military Park, however that was cancelled due to the park being closed. So, thank you for preventing hate speech, even though some of your colleagues have been equating the Affordable Care Act to the Fugitive Slave Act or Nazi Appeasement. However, more scientific projects are being cancelled by the day; and in this email, I’d like to turn your attention to Antarctica. Please, turn your body to the South as you read this, as it will…