Because Presidential elections follow a week after Halloween, it’s fun to make visual associations between traditional zombies (the walking dead) and politicians (the talking dead). Both candidates are easy to lampoon this year, and considering that they and their surrogates have hijacked TV and the mail for months, I think they deserve some humorous disrespect.
GOVERNOR MITT ZOMBIE
I was in elementary school the first time I remember a presidential election going on. I don’t specifically recall any posters, signs or junk mail, and I didn’t watch the debate on TV, though I learned afterward it was the first one televised. The zinger that resonated with my peers was a nursery rhyme. You could put either candidate’s name in the winning or losing position of the quatrain. Because Iowa was a red state that year, the version of the rhyme I heard went:
“Nixon, Nixon, he’s our man!”
“Kennedy belongs in the garbage can!”
It sounded good when shouted by small groups outdoors during recess, and clomping home in galoshes, kicking through the autumn leaves.
Of course it was Nixon who actually belonged in the garbage can, and the electorate threw him out repeatedly, but Tricky Dick was the original zombie politician. The guy simply would not stay dead. In the eight years between the time he lost to JFK and the time he won against Hubert Humphrey he re-invented himself, just by magically pretending he now had a completely different set of beliefs. Partisan base supporters have about the same memory capacity as Alzheimer’s patients, so the unveiling of “the new Nixon” worked pretty well.
Ever since those bygone days, elections have been featuring more and more zombies, candidates who lose elections and then resurrect themselves by pretending they’ve turned into someone else. I’m talking about Romney. Then again, people are also saying Obama’s dead, because of the economy. Either way, Americans are total suckers for a good resurrection. It doesn’t matter if the reason the dead are walking is holy. People need a miracle every day!
I don’t know who will win this year. I don’t know if the voters want to elect a “boss” more than a “professor”. Most of my life, the person who has been President has made a lot less difference than the people I depend on each day; my wife, my friends and my employers. I’m not worried or afraid. Whatever problems occur, I can adapt. I’m faster and smarter than the zombies.