A Gift for Today

Today is our 16th Wedding Anniversary.  Some of you have not had the inestimable benefit of a supportive marriage.  Maybe you haven’t even had a long-term relationship outside of your family.  Marriage isn’t for everybody, but when it turns out as well as mine has it makes me wish this amount of happiness for all of you.

My wife has faults.  I have learned to love them.  I find most of them endearing. Those I am still irritated by provide a clear path for my future practice of compassion.  She feels the same way about my faults, and treats me with equal respect and patience.  When I am being overly pedantic and professorial, instead of telling me not to be she will calmly say something like:

“I see you have an enormous amount to say about this.”

I get the message and LIGHTEN UP.  This sort of direction helps me be both a better person and a better writer.  Brevity is the soul of wit.  I usually achieve one of those by half.  I’m either half-brief, or half-witted.

Part of our mutual agreement to reduce our materialism has been to stop buying each other gifts on holidays or occasions.  When one or both of us feels we do need an item, we discuss it, save up and buy it.  Instead of buying things as fetishes of sentiment, we do nice things for each other and treat all days as if they were special days – and now they are!

I do not believe in soul mates.  There’s more than one Mr. or Ms. Right for each person.  However, I can say without reservation that I feel today that I could not have found a better partner in life anywhere on Earth.

Happy Anniversary, my love.

15 Comments

Filed under Communications, Emotions, Ethics and Morality, humor

15 responses to “A Gift for Today

  1. Pie

    Many congratulations to you both. One of these years (or lifetimes?), I may have something just like this. In the meantime I will enjoy yours in a vicarious fashion.

  2. Uh oh I missed a few. I’m so glad to see you’re back to writing often!

    I’m so glad you’re happy and wish you many more happy anniversaries. She looks like she’d be the nicest person.

    • Thanks, Lisa. She is legendary in the Cosmic Hall of Niceness, though she has plenty of spine if the situation requires it. My output’s increasing because I FINALLY cut back from working 60 to 30 hours. It took a few months to ramp down.

  3. I just came out of a breakup this week and was hesitant to start reading this, but it actually makes things feel a little better. You manage to make very wonderful things seem so commonplace and reachable instead of some exalted brass ring.

    • I so feel for you, Tim. Of course I had to be in love with the wrong person a number of times in order to end up with the right one. There’s magic all around. You’re clever. As you begin to feel better, you’ll grow new eyes and see people worth loving you didn’t notice before. Anyone who wants it can have love.

  4. 1995 was clearly a great vintage year for some of us Pie, Himself and I celebrate 16 years this year too (July). I married someone who wasn’t perfect and it’s a perfect match, because I am not perfect either.
    Focusing on the big things what we love about each other rather that the tiny tings that we don’t also helps. I’m a believer that as long as the “foundations” of the life you build together are solid ( core values: honesty, life goals, communication, money management values, etc) then the “house” on the top (your own personalities) can be quite different and it will still work.
    I have definite strengths in some areas, Himself has definite strengths in some areas where I don’t, I have to learn to accept help and visa versa. In areas where we are both weak we know we both need to work harder LOL.
    There are always bumps in a marriage, it’s how you smooth them out that matters.
    Showing Appreciation is key… sounds like you and I have managed to hit the jackpot … Happy 16th! Have an Excellent day together !!! .. and many many more years to follow 🙂

    • Thanks, KD. It was cold, windy & rainy so after the clinic closed we just stayed home and were good to each other. A perfect evening.

      Your thoughtfulness and breadth of experience show through in your words so well. What amazes me is that you also say so much with your photographs. (I still enjoy traveling the globe with your family, even when I don’t comment.)

  5. Wonderful,Sir! Happy Anniversary to you both!
    I think the success of a marriage begins when we let go of delusions such as “happily ever after” and realize that marriage is work and schooling and personal growth. More would make it if they’d look beyond the marriage altar and commit to the ever after and let the “happily” happen as a by-product.
    Enjoy each other today, as you do every other day!

  6. Mikey, I made a LARGE blunder this morning and called you “Pie” in my comment instead of Mikey, my most humble apologies, clearly my brain was out to lunch because I DID mean to write your name… and I knew I *wasn’t* writing my comment to Pie. Could you please do me a great favour and correct it for me and then delete this extra comment?merci, merci… Kiwi.

    • I knew it was a mistake and thought nothing of it from the start. You should see my posts before spell-check!

      • Pie

        Mistake or not, I took on board everything that was said here. Once again, Mikey, I congratulate you and Mrs Invisible. And happy 16th to you too, Kiwi. May you continue to your 26th, 36th, 46th, 56th and beyond.

  7. Beautiful. Just beautiful.

    I’m feeling so tearful today. I have just spent almost a month with Roy. In all that time I switched my computer on three times and that was only because I needed to pay some accounts and I felt a little compelled to reply to some mail. But, sadly he left today. So, it’s just me and my computer for company again for a while. We both have to work hard on finding a way that we can be together permanently. I would love nothing more than that.

    Happy anniversary. A special man like you deserves to be happy. Congratulations.

    • Thank you, Tracy. I’ll say welcome back even though I know a good part of you would prefer to remain enfolded in that estate of new love. I don’t think it’s a big stretch to say there’s nothing like face-to-face. Even the techno-geekiest of our friends here will stop typing for awhile if offered a decent kiss.

      I completely believe that if the two of you want a permanent primary alliance, you are creative and smart enough to imagine and engineer a way of life that will make it possible. The challenge of how it might be done is the test of your mutual level of commitment to the idea.

      Affectionate regards to you both.

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