Buh-Bye Motel 2 1/2

We get the keys to our new home today.  Important truths have been re-emphasized in this arduous process, but the lessons are old ones.  I did develop some new skills from living for three weeks in a cabin with no air conditioning and no ordinary source of hot water. I didn’t know that:

One can shave using a cup of micro-waved hot water.

One can shower with a pan’s worth of stove-warmed water.  “Soap up” first.

The heat in a closed-up cabin can trigger asthma attacks.

Our fur-covered cats don’t mind the heat in a closed-up cabin.

In a significant illustration of how stupid and irrationally risk-averse banks can get, there was a last-minute attempt to stall our ownership transfer over a clerical inconsistency of less than one dollar.  No one knows why, but there was a THIRTY CENT difference between what my wife’s former employer stated in their letter to the mortgage lender they would be paying her per month in pension and what they actually paid her.  The lender threatened to hold up the completion of the deal unless WE resolved this difference.  This may have been a data entry mistake, or a reflection of changes in calculations based on the fluctuating stock values underlying the pension, or an accounting error.  I have done the accounts for small businesses, but I’m not a CPA.  Don’t ask me to outline the arcane possibilities for error in a pension fund from a corporation that employs thousands.

When I received the cell call about this artificially important matter, I was busy holding someone down on the toilet who has been defecating themselves to death for the past week.  This patient has been a go-getter all her life, a “type-A” personality.  No matter what creditors asked of her, she threw her whole being into it.  She achieved much, in a material sense.  She’s rail-thin, and now that her memory has dissolved her body believes she’s supposed to “keep trying, keep going, keep pushing”.  She can’t relax, and her digestive system is turning itself inside-out.

Take heed.  If you expend too much of your spirit toward satisfying the requirements of the world of money, this could be your end.  All things must pass, and too much of what passes will be diarrhea.

I called “bullshit” on the lender.  They backed down.  Tonight I will be sleeping on the floor of our own house.  The bed won’t be delivered until tomorrow, but I don’t mind.


Filed under debt, Ethics and Morality, humor, Metaphysics, Money, symbolism

20 responses to “Buh-Bye Motel 2 1/2

  1. Wow, not even a window air conditioner. I am so glad you will be leaving Purgatory today.

    • Not even screens on the windows, my dear, so we couldn’t keep those open because carpenter ants kept flying in. It was like the “sweat box” in Cool Hand Luke over the past few days.

  2. Sis-Out-Law

    Congrats! It’s about bloody time!

    In celebration and in solidarity with you, here’s Cheryl Wheeler’s “We’re the Bank,” written about jousting with her bank over her mortgage. She thinks a lot of the static was generated b/c she wrote down “Folk Singer” in her app. Sigh.

  3. No one has air-co here, but at least we have windows we can open and the breeze blows in (our windows have screens since three out of the four of us are allergic to mosquitoes). Your ants can *fly*???wow, ugh, doesn’t sound good.

    But on a better note: WELCOME to your new home…! Fantastic that you finally have a key and even the floor will be more welcoming that Motel 1 and 3/4!
    This is the night that you get to camp out like kids in your own fairly tale castle… reality and practicality might be more comfortable a.s.a.p. after that LOL, but this is *your* beautiful future, and it’s the very first night of the rest of your lives in a wonderful place you could only have Dreamed about months ago.
    The Dream is now Real, signed, sealed and delivered and the stars will shine for you tonight.
    Giggle together and enjoy it, you deserve it!!!

    The 30 cent hiccup is the sort of tedium that is binding the modern world up into knots these days. People appear to not be able to be flexible any more and the system even less so…
    Being able to laugh at the system and realise that this kind of absurdity is it’s frailty and not it’s strength makes us stronger and saner and not more stupid for not wanted to join in the madness.

    Pity the people who think that these minuscule details “matter”, …they will be the ones degenerating into weird obsessions with subatomic detail and missing the better, and bigger picture throughout their lives and old age.

    Your house is YOURS, your dream has come, the paper pushers and cr@p bureaucrats will soon be fading further and further into the distance.
    Well done! you are surviving the process !
    This house will be ALL the sweeter for it … cuddle up, grab a chilled drink, or pop a cork on a red one meant for room temp and enjoy!
    You SOOOOO deserve this. Savour the moment.
    It’s special.. and tonight, it’s yours !
    BIG HUGS and Congratulations!!!

    • Thanks for your continued encouragement and support, Kiwi. I still regularly visit your site to take “vacations” in my mind. I was so exhausted when I got home at 10:45 last night I just dropped like a rock, but waking up this morning was AMAZING.

  4. Congratulations! If I were you, I would’ve told them where to put the nickel and quarter, too. Or three dimes if you wanted to be a bit kinder. ; )

    • I bit my tongue and only called them “pissants” inside my head. They are still my neighbors, and even if they are behaving badly I should be charitable if I can. We must lead by example.

  5. Sarah Baram

    I’m curious how your cat didn’t mind the heat. I have a long haired bob tail who literally drips sweat if he’s not in his air conditioned home. Taking him to the beach is a nasty business if the weather is anything over 80 degrees. Happy moving though! You sound absolutely thrilled!

    • Our cats are closer to the desert genotype; short-haired tabby mixes. Their forekitties originated in the Valley of the Nile back when Ramses would have prayed to the cat-god. Yours expresses genes from Northern Europe and colder climes. Thanks for stopping by. Yep, thrilled is the word.

  6. Little Bro

    Huzzah, I say – huzzah!

  7. Lots of luck in your new home and kudos for finding lessons in your experience at the motel.

    Best wishes and enjoy your new home in good health.


  8. I bet last night’s sleep was the best you’ve had in weeks. I myself, just breathed a huge sigh of relief.
    Congratulations, my friend. To you and the Mrs. And the cats.
    The thirty cents? That was just kharma’s way of keeping you humble, and the corporate’s reminder of who’s in charge. You proved the better man, good on you for it.
    I’m keeping my fingers crossed that the move-in goes without a hitch, I think you’ve had your fair share.
    I’ll be eagerly awaiting pictures of your new views…sunrise over the water, wandering wildlife, and of course, the trees.

    • The phone-cam can’t do it justice, but I’ll try to assemble something next week. The less than 10 min. commutes promote a lightness of spirit. The trees enfold us on three sides, only open to the water side. That’s also where the road lies – downhill from the driveway.

  9. You’ve been through such an ordeal. So glad it’s over. Congrats on getting the keys.

  10. The injustices flung upon the populace by corporations — because they can — are some of the hardest ones for me to let go of. Glad you survived and congrats on getting into the Casa D.

    • It also becomes morally and emotionally confusing to realize that both the corporations and those outside of them are groups made up of individuals with no substantial differences except for intent. The individuals in corporations deserve respect and compassion as persons, but not reinforcement for bad behavior when it occurs from unchecked avarice.

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