Bad Art in the Boonies

There is one restaurant within walking distance of the Motel 2 ½ where we are living.  It’s swimming in bad art. I love bad art.  They serve the world’s unhealthiest diet; huge greasy burgers, thick-cut fries and deep-fried, battered fish sandwiches.  Genuine heart-attack food.  Mrs. Invisible and I ordered a burger to be split between the two of us.  They charge extra if you do that, but we just sold our house.  We could buy a burger apiece if we wanted to.  Look out, bumpkins.  Big spenders comin’ thru.

Everything was dripping in there.  The place accepts only cash for payment of the bill.  The ceiling and walls were decorated with dollar bills stuck into every available inch with thumb tacks.  Aside from the dollar bill decor, there were tee shirts and hats and Japanese lanterns and lucky waving kitty cats and jingoistic slogans like “Wake Up America” and “Pray for Our Troops”.  The vehicles parked outside included motorcycles, pick-up trucks and a State Trooper car.  It’s a good place in which to express your inner redneck.

We were served by a cute, fat, Asian-American lady dressed in a hot pink sequined pantsuit and a pink straw hat.  She called me “honey”.  (She called everyone honey.)  We sat at picnic tables covered with sweating vinyl American flag pattern tablecloths.  God bless America.  It was one of the weirdest eating experiences of my life, thanks to the indiscriminate every-kind-of-kitsch-included design aesthetic.  Here’s an introductory photo of Mrs. Invisible, the Emmy-winning ex-broadcast journalist, taken just after she ate.  Whadda ya know?  A person can overdose on meat.

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27 Comments

Filed under humor, Money, symbolism, Travel

27 responses to “Bad Art in the Boonies

  1. That’s too much! Absolutely love it.

  2. Mrs. Invisible looks truly taken by the environment. Her eyes scream, “Mr. Invisible, I am so truly blessed to have found someone such as you who will whisk me away to such exotic and opulent locales on a whim!” ; )

  3. I often wonder how well I would really do in a rural environment. I dream of living out in the open, where I can hear frogs at night and see stars; I imagine myself to be one of Jefferson’s yeoman farmers, an educated, progressive, peace-loving man of soil and art, but I don’t think that “that’s what’s out there” anymore. I don’t see broad-minded husbands of the tilth pausing from their gladsome labors under a hawthorn tree midday and reading a bit of Keats. I see a lot of satellite dishes and thought-reducing bumper stickers. I feel safer in the city.

  4. Pie

    What a great place!

    My retinas would be straining with the exertion of looking at all that tat. I’d be grinning non stop and I would go for the fish sandwich, definitely. Mrs Invisible looks suitably pleased with the choice of eating establishment. It can only get better from here!

    By the way, the area you’re moving to sounds like fun. Hippies and artists? International film festivals? Deer walking the streets? What is there not to like?

  5. Ooh, where is this?

    I think I need to visit. Though whether my wife would let me is another thing entirely, a blood test last week showed I now have high cholesterol – three years in the US will do that to a guy.

  6. Sarah Baram

    Aside from the sound of their food, this place looks fantastic! I love the dollar bills, that is such a unique idea for decoration though I am not sure I would consider it “bad art”.

    • True, my erudite collegian. I used the term to amuse a general audience. The specific would be kitsch or folk art/primitive, though the money motif also makes it pop art in academic parlance.

  7. Pingback: Captivating me « Always Well Within

  8. Mrs. Invisible is very pretty, even stunned.
    That looks like just the most awesome place. The sort of joint I’d relish getting fatter in..

  9. Mikey,
    There are bad art places like this is America too – Wow! I had no idea. I thought they were only found in the small towns on the Canadian Prairies. ;)

  10. Mrs. Invisible looks as if she is physically torn up about what to digest first! Perhaps the decor was meant as a distraction from the food…or the other way around?
    Welcome to rural life…where money is irrelevant, and attitude is everything!

    • I have no idea what the source of their bizarre impulses were. Some businesses display their “first dollar”, but this one displays the first dollar they get from every customer ever it appears.

  11. Cat

    It’s the Ms.! :D

  12. lianamerlo

    That place looks awesome! If you’re ever in Baltimore, you should go to Cafe Hon.

  13. Thanks. I’ll put it on the Kitsch List for that town. Baltimore is the inspiration source of all things John Waters. That’s a big plus in my book.

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